top of page
Search
Writer's pictureShahrzad Jalali PsyD

The Discomfort of Change

Updated: Apr 30, 2023

Change is an inevitable part of the human experience. Our very being is based on a transitional development that begins at conception and continues until our lifespan is over. Throughout this process we continue to transform implicitly and explicitly, yet these long-awaited transitions are bittersweet. As we pass each stage, we eagerly anticipate the next and feel nostalgic about the previous. Though we love to conquer each passage we find comfort in the status quo. This inner duality between the need to progress and the need to surrender brings us emotional uncertainty and leaves us to question the benefits of change.


Nature is a concrete representative of the reality of change in practice. The change from day to night and the turning of the seasons beautifully depict the shift in transitions. Our powerlessness over the renewal process drives us to gladly succumb to this transformation; whereas we demonstrate resistance in transition in our lives; holding on to the inclination that things must remain as they are. This mentality causes us to experience unease with the slightest hint of change. One wonders with all these constant shifts in life what makes us believe we can hold on to consistency? Why do we think we can fight the natural progression of events?


Resistance to change is rooted in our perceived sense of complete control over life. We like to view change as a choice, whereas change is the law of life.

Victor Frankel once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation-we are challenged to change ourselves.” What if our task in this constant process of renewal is not to control or to resist change, but to adjust ourselves to this unavoidable process. To make the process of transition more tolerable we need to become the change we try to resist.


Interestingly, a great deal of our psychological energy in life is invested in altering situations to mold them into what we want them to be. Not to mention the disappointment we feel when we come to realize that many times, we fall short from implementing our control over people, things, and events. Allowing the fluidity of change to pave our way through life can create room for creativity and authenticity. We love the comfort in the routineness of our relationships, lives, and endeavors. We have come to appreciate this predictability and think of any alteration as anxiety provoking. What we cease to realize is that stagnation in nature equals death. Life as we know it is intertwined with change. This transformation is goal oriented and guides us towards our self-discovery in the path of life. Every change happens to nudge us in the direction we are meant to take, so embrace it.




5 views

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page